I cockslap morals
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize