do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
