...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
