just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
