Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
