Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If I die, sorry about rent.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
