Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
