I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
