why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
