i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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