I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
