i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You are the jesus of drinking
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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