worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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