It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think I am morally bankrupt
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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