My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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