I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
