What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
did i just pee glitter
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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