Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
