spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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