she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
