Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
