If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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