You just made me feel so damn special
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
