If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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