i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
