What a fucking waste of an outfit
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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