I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it glows. i had to have it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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