id be glad to
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
