sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
