I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
