That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
