I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
