Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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