ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
