I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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