Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
wow bdsm is so cute
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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