I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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