The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am available for nakedness
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
