Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how does that bad decision feel?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
