A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize