and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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