he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
