Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
