no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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