all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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