I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
