This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
