When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
