We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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