Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
