there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
