He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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