Sry I called you an 8
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
