talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
