so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
