Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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