If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
