If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
