Your face is a jimmy john
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
