let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
