thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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