So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
