my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
